A Day Off in December
Trying to stay focused this morning. It would like to fool myself into believing that it would have been easier to stay focussed if my mother was not off work today. However, if she had been off work I would have liked to have to focus to have stayed home and tried to do "a finished packing" to see how much room I had left to go buy things I can get a better price on here in the U.S. and not waste any space in the boxes that I am shipping to the Philippines.
Because she was off today I started to question whether or not the "impression I was getting" was the correct one. "Do not worry (or be overly concerned) with what you will make (financially). Take the day off, work on the things that I (the Lord) will have you to do."
I questioned this because I couldn't think what it is the Lord would lead me to do if it wasn't my "finished box" packing. For those of you that I haven't already told, my mother has been quite an obstacle to so many things that I have believed the Lord would have me do. She has certainly made it more difficult and I have often reflected on scriptures such as Mat 5:41, I Peter 2:18 and Eph 6:5. And more often than not (and not certain if this is a result of my own weakness/sin) just simply avoided her all together. Some of you have had life experiences regarding certain relatives of yours that would allow you to understand this, but others of you have not, and would have a hard time imagining someone avoiding their own mother.
I can't say that I haven't had my own doubts about the decisions that I have made regarding my mother. But I can say that I have always made sure that she had food, clothing, and even more. Many of the months that I had been hindered to prepare for the Philippines was because God had me setup my mother's trailer. And even though I never did it for any other reason than to do God's will and be an example of God's love, my mother never gave the glory to God (that I know of). Instead she thought that I "was a good son" and when I stopped doing all of the things that she wanted (after the trailer had water, heat, and power) then she started accusing me of never doing anything and only doing what 'I' wanted. She has continued with this latter line of thought for over a year now.
It still hurts me to think about it. I only pray that my mother would one day see everything through eyes of faith that look up to heaven and see the Lord Jesus Christ. I know that those who have seen what Jesus did for them can no longer justify their anger in not getting what they want. I also know that no one who has seen the glory of Christ will spend their days getting angry that others don't do (for them) what they think God would want them to do. For man's anger does not achieve the things that God has in mind (James 1:20).
Ok well back to my original thought. I am still not sure what I will be able to do today that will be beneficial for what God has in mind today; that could be several journal entries in and of itself. But of course God is under no obligation to tell me what he has in mind before it happens :-) ... It wouldn't be the first time that I had an amazing day that I would have never know about before hand.
Because she was off today I started to question whether or not the "impression I was getting" was the correct one. "Do not worry (or be overly concerned) with what you will make (financially). Take the day off, work on the things that I (the Lord) will have you to do."
I questioned this because I couldn't think what it is the Lord would lead me to do if it wasn't my "finished box" packing. For those of you that I haven't already told, my mother has been quite an obstacle to so many things that I have believed the Lord would have me do. She has certainly made it more difficult and I have often reflected on scriptures such as Mat 5:41, I Peter 2:18 and Eph 6:5. And more often than not (and not certain if this is a result of my own weakness/sin) just simply avoided her all together. Some of you have had life experiences regarding certain relatives of yours that would allow you to understand this, but others of you have not, and would have a hard time imagining someone avoiding their own mother.
I can't say that I haven't had my own doubts about the decisions that I have made regarding my mother. But I can say that I have always made sure that she had food, clothing, and even more. Many of the months that I had been hindered to prepare for the Philippines was because God had me setup my mother's trailer. And even though I never did it for any other reason than to do God's will and be an example of God's love, my mother never gave the glory to God (that I know of). Instead she thought that I "was a good son" and when I stopped doing all of the things that she wanted (after the trailer had water, heat, and power) then she started accusing me of never doing anything and only doing what 'I' wanted. She has continued with this latter line of thought for over a year now.
It still hurts me to think about it. I only pray that my mother would one day see everything through eyes of faith that look up to heaven and see the Lord Jesus Christ. I know that those who have seen what Jesus did for them can no longer justify their anger in not getting what they want. I also know that no one who has seen the glory of Christ will spend their days getting angry that others don't do (for them) what they think God would want them to do. For man's anger does not achieve the things that God has in mind (James 1:20).
Ok well back to my original thought. I am still not sure what I will be able to do today that will be beneficial for what God has in mind today; that could be several journal entries in and of itself. But of course God is under no obligation to tell me what he has in mind before it happens :-) ... It wouldn't be the first time that I had an amazing day that I would have never know about before hand.
Labels: Culture and Contrast, Faith, My Family, My Story, Spiritual Milk
posted by Timothy at 12/16/2008 11:23:00 PM
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