Strange to be Happy

I feel like it is such a strange thing to be happy. When I think about what God is giving me I am able to enjoy it. But when I am thinking about all of the things that I have done wrong, in spite of what I know better, I am disappointed.

But this is the time for me to be happy. I know it is because I can hear God speaking to me about it. But still, even though he is telling me that this is the time for me to be happy, it is still strange. It is strange to enjoy all of the things that God has given me when I am accustomed to being saddened by the good that I am not able to do. (Romans 7:21-25)

It is hard for me to let go of a habit that I have developed of taking a solemn look at myself; examining myself to see if I am keeping in mind the great sacrifice that Christ has paid for us. But there is a time for everything. (Ecclesiastes 3:1-4). I know it is good to take a solemn look at myself, but it is also good for me to laugh and to enjoy the many things that God has given me.