The Fight with Myself

Just finished playing scrabble with my son. You might think that sounds easy if you are on the outside looking in. But for me it's a matter of knowing that I need to just stop what I am doing sometimes to spend time with him. It's quite hard actually. I feel the burden of responsibility to work for the family and work very long hours until I can see the return from the investment of time that I believe I need to spend.

It's quite a challenge. In fact it's a huge burden and challenge. I've done this before, I know what the waters look like. I've built a company from nearly nothing before. But I was fifteen years younger then. And I deceived a few people, and cut some ethical corners then.

I am fifteen years older now. And God is my number one reason for everything. So If I cut any ethical corners or deceive anyone now it will be only because of weakness. And if I 'do' either of those I will be the first one to expose them and I will do so quickly.

James, the brother of Jesus wrote "Confess your sins one to another so that you will be healed.". Since God gave me faith about seven or more years ago I have done that , confessed my sins to others, and I will do it again. I know the work that God has done in me because of it. I have had to leave pride and self-love behind in order to openly expose my own sins. And I will not stop until my life is over or the Lord returns. I have not yet suffered to the point of shedding my blood. But Jesus did, and because of that I will never yield to the yearning of my conceit and pride.